Death slides and mass landouts

So the Standard Class were scrubbed in the air today whilst the clubbies went on into the blue. On having the standards down and sorted we decided to head to the water park as we had heard so much about it. The bruises are fun and Ben had concussion. No really.

As we turned onto the main road from the park we came across trailer after trailer, I'm talking all the club class guys. I suspect there is going to be only one angry Polski farmer today.

We also helped to clean the Brit team pool today, which genuinely started growing things and had a family of bugs swimming in it. It was so smelly that I nearly thew up. So at least that's our honorable thing done for the day.

Not sure on what we are doing for dinner now but it could be interesting. We were meant to be going to a joint Brit/ Dutch/ Saffer/ America BBQ.

It's hot

We're being crap at updating but the heat has turned us into sloths and we have no energy to do anything. Our walking pace is about 5 times slower than it is back in England - it took us an hour to walk around tescos when all we were buying was milk and bread

I was happily having my morning dump a few minutes ago when Ali appeared behind me (the toilets here have bars for windows). He then covered me in water and poked me with a bamboo cane. I don't know if any of you have tried to poo with your mate behind you but it kinda kills the mood.

Ali is currently very hungover. The last I saw of him last night he was sort of walking, but in a way that required neither foot to be lifted off the ground and he was mumbling stuff that didnt make a whole lot of sense. There's a girl here who has been nicknamed Sasquatch (I think that tells you everything you need to know) and I've made it my personal mission to make her and Ali happen. I may or may not have started numerous rumours to stoke the fire so let's hope this works.

It's hot again today. I'm currently dripping sweat in to my cereal. Yay

Clubs, fingers and pseudo sharks

So last night we had a big one. On being told that today would be a rest day the pilots decided they wanted a night out. Whilst eating in town we saw a constant stream of top totty hitting the bars and decided we would hit club discotheque demon. More stories from that to follow... But lets just say Ali doesn't have a certain nick name for nothing.

Today we decided to try out the recommended beach at the local lake. We turned up, for some reason ignored where the locals were headed and tried to find an entrance. After then walking around for half an hour we decided the locals probably knew better than us, and followed where they had been going originally. Turns out they were right. When we located the beach, we immediately hit the water with ball in hand to show the locals what rowdy Brits we are. We discovered that on the whole we are rubbish at water volley ball but Ben has an irrational fear of sharks (despite the fact we were in a lake...). After this we hired two pedalos for the twelve of us and ventured out to the depths of the lake. After figuring out that if more than 3 people are at the front of the boat the backs sticks out, we obviously had 10 of us on the front of said boat in what some have described as looking like the titanic. Needless to say I had a little bottom moment.

Shortly following this the Water Po Po zoomed over to us, to which we all held our breathe, awaiting the bollocking that was obviously going to ensue. After a little translation issues it was actually that we were swimming more than 50m from the shore... Phew.

Once our time was up we hit the shore again and decided to get candyfloss. The man started putting it on the stick, then kept going, and going, and going. We ended up with a ball of candyfloss the size of a basketball. Seeing as this was obviously not enough sugar, we decided we also needed ice cream too so stopped at the next shop down. The man asked us to help translate his menu into English by holding up various ingredients and having us write them down in English. We were nice and wrote out his menu properly, but realised we missed out on the oppurtunuty to screw his business over by 'accidentally' mistranslating his menu to include items such as "waffles topped with warm jizz"

We're gonna have an early night tonight as last night was ridiculously big and has taken its toll on us

Day long blog... Internet please work

Today's summary, where do I start.

It has become the norm to say good morning to our neighbours, the Saffers, with what can only be described as very racist comments, something about a backwards baboon... that when said with a British accent really make it acceptable, well I think anyway. The Cobras don't mind as we are keeping are ex-colonial pals happy by laughing at us. However, when a new female Cobra arrived today I didn't realise she was in the tent when I yelled said word to Gunter.. Needless to say she was shocked.

Big Sues has arrived and has already settled in to camp life and has parked her tent next to Snorlax, god help her.

All the Standards got round but only Matty managed to finish for the Clubs. There was a lot of Brit /America chat going on today which I hope will reinforce the 'special relationship' we have with them. Something that hasn't been as strong since we helped save Iraq/ the world.

We have a new friend in the pool, probably feeding off the vast quantities of floating skin which may have originated on my shoulders, I'm looking like a badly burnt Albanian boy. His name is Kurt Von Strudelscratcher, or something like that anyway. In short, a bug that literally is living in the Brit pool.

Plan for tonight is to head out to town in search of a restaurant that serves warm food and cold beer.

British 1,2 in the clubs

Luke Dale won the day with 1000 points, with Matty Davis following him up in second. Mary's currently 44 points behind the leader so its looking good. It's obviously the good luck kisses

I've been modifying football songs to contain Matt's name so I think after winning MVC (most valuable crew) last year, I'm a strong contender for MVS (most valuable supporter)

Tidal wave and eye candy!

Its been pretty tricky with such bad internet but here we go.

Its blue as blue and hot as Hell meaning the pool was looking rather enticing. Unfortunately for everyone in the camp someone had filled it slightly too high and although Ben was fine, my tum was to much for the water displacement and the side collapsed. Luckily Si, Brit team captain, saw what might happen before and managed to get the mains electricity off the ground otherwise it would of been the end of BAli as we know it, much to the delight of some I think.

In othernews, it's sexy lingerie night at the local club and me and quite a lot of the other narional crew members are keen to see the local eye candy. Its amazing to see what centuries of being impoverished can do to a woman's figure.

Very nice!

This is definitely not Ben (Ali feels guilty about not blogging enough). International night has been interesting.... Lots of free vodka meant we were nearly in bed at 9, but the Austrian red bull pulled us through. The comp director taught me how to say "you have beautiful tits" and I used it on the bar maid. It went okay

Quote of the day today goes to Ali: "I never have sex dreams about girls"......

Chopper is most definitely on tour tonight - the eyes are out and there's a bottle of Eastern European vodka in each hand.

Ali is now narrating to me so here we go "don't put that about the girl comment. You know what I meant. We've had a battle of the rover sound systems: rover 75 vs. the range rover. Some polski pulled up and tried to outloud our music. Hank definitely won. Down that jim bean because you're a lad. Do it. But back to the blog - Ethan did not do it. Shlad. Quite like the bar maid, she reminds me of Julia Roberts in pretty woman, but prettier."

He then walked off so I guess that's it. Anyway, apparently the weather is looking good tomorrow so hopefully the boys will get to fly again

Boys are back

The Brits are back. No idea how they've done as soaringspot isn't working on my phone, but you can check there for the provisionals.

It's international evening tonight which should be a good laugh, although the Americans have tequila so I'm kinda scared about how this is gonna go

Pictures from today

Some picture from the last few days off my camera.

Charlie finishing yesterday. A solid 4th in his first international comp day. Who's a good boy!!

 Matty calling out a code blue!

 Couldn't help myself... Sorry Benny

Herr Osterreich... (Erich) before launch today

Picture time

Finally whipped out the camera so have a few pictures to update from the grid today. Ali will put some more up in a bit as he has taken more and we aren't co-ordinated enough to put them up in the same post

Chez Bali after a romantic pesto pasta

Alllliiiiii

Sneaky fookin' Saffa prawn

Annie after a nap

Blue Steel

Charlie "The Girth" Jordan getting ready to put his catheter on. Rumour has it he has to bake them overnight just to make them stretch enough....

Grid

Team piss

Hank the Tank

Tufty parachute

They're going

Grids have just started being launched. I was having withdrawal symptoms so we've reunited the dream team and I'm matts official crew today. Just about to give him his good luck kiss

Tasks

Tasks courtesy of Daddy Rodster;

Standard are on a 3.5 hour AAT going mainly to the east of Leszno, with one point in Germany

Clubs have a 250 racing task

I've out-hacked Ali

Ali's buckled and gone to bed, but I'm still standing. This is mainly due to the fact that the girl working the bar is a solid 9 (this figure would be a lot lower if I hadn't drank / hadn't been on an airfield with only men for 4 days)

I think everyone's feeling the effects of the last few nights as it's very quiet tonight. I spent the whole day calling the Aussie who's left a bitch as she hadn't left me her pass (we're on a mission to get a security pass from every team) only to find she!d left it in literally the most obvious place ever. If I wasnt borderline retatded, I wouldn't have had to call her a "flamin' galah" multiple times

Anyway, everyone thinks they'll be flying tomorrow so I'm looking forward to seeing the boys get a 1,2,3 in each class. Anything worse and ill pretend I don't know them

Quiet night is going badly

So the quiet night of watching films has not gone to plan. Whilst its quieter than the others, I'm currently in the bar half way through my 6th beer and more awake than I have been all day

Sleepy

Today was scrubbed eventually

We finally have everything after yet another trip into town - we should be free to update a bit more on the day now. We kinda went overboard and pimped Chez Bali - we now have a white picket fence, six candles, a picnic blanket, firepit, BBQ, log pile, and even matching pink snuggies (blankets that you wear)...... The saffas who live next door have already started making comments about our sexuality.

We still haven't caught up on sleep since the drive so tonight is going to just be a BBQ and early night  watching a few films

We got the car A/C fixed for a whopping £26 so now have nice cold air just in time for the cold weather to arrive

It's not scrubbed yet

Well it's not officially scrubbed but its currently raining a lot, and very windy. We're sitting in the hotel bar with all the pilots discussing which film to watch when they do scrub, so its not looking hopeful

Standards tasks

Standards are on 126 km racing task but it looks more like we might be watching a film instead.

Standards tasks

Standards are on 126 km racing task but it looks more like we might be watching a film instead.

Task sheets are in

Clubs are on a 2 hour AAT, min distance of 180km. Matt is Lolling Standards to follow in a bit. Weatherization isn't looking great. No blue bits to be seen and quite strong wind. Ben is still asleep and have spent the morning talking of various, and mainly of my, night time exploits, much to Si's horror.

Morning after the mystery blue drink and ignore the repost

Just woken up as its hotter than the sun in the tent and Coxy (British Team crew) handed me my jacket that I may have left in the bar. God it must have been those mysterious blue shots.

Big well done to our boys yesterday who did very well indeed for their first international comp day. Lets hope they keep coming up with those results and we might be looking at a very happy team.

Just looked outside of my compartment and I have had to utilise my engineering degree...  Contact lenses.

To Jens

We're having a drink to possibly the nicest person I've ever met. Unfortunately it's been one year since our friend Jens had an accident doing what he loved best. We met this guy in Musbach and spent three weeks loving everything he did and said. It's put a downer on the night but we know that if he was here he'd be encouraging us to drink more. In his words I was "his little peeing princess".  

Still can't believe it but I imagine most of the people reading this will remember Jens for the legend that he was, so this ones for you mate

Citronella love

We are sitting here having just finished our din dins surrounded by citronella candles and have the wood burning fire bry on the go.

However, I'm currently suffering from a near fatal mosquito love bite to the wrist. The said mozzy managed to run the gauntlet of candles and smoke and won... I have a fat wrist again. Added to this I am having to turn to drugs to beat the wound, with a double dropping of antihistamines.

Ben and I have tried to be good and have our 5 a day, but much to Ben's disappointment bugs have managed to gain entrance to our 'anti bug box' and nibble the insides of out bananas. What the Hell? But on a plus note, no more bugs will be nibbling our bananas... Maaarp!

Sitting here watching the sun set and listening to Alt-J. We are super chilled/ BNIGs.

Provisional results

The shinternet has finally allowed us to see the results. At the moment we have: 4th Charlie Jordan, 5th Matt Waters, 17th Oli Barter.

Cracking start, especially considering this is Matt and Charlie's first worlds.

Results are on soaringspot by the way so check there if we're being slow in future.

Got the log burning firepit set up so we're currently having a few beers around the fire before cooking dinner

All the British boys are back

Matt and Charlie got back about half an hour ago, Oli has just landed (he started half an hour later). Will update with provisionals when they're released

Finishers in 10-15 minutes

We're just sitting at the British team base waiting for them to get back in. Perfect view of the finish line from the swimming pool

Finishers in 10-15 minutes

We're just sitting at the British team base waiting for them to get back in. Perfect view of the finish line from the swimming pool

Finishers in 10-15 minutes

We're just sitting at the British team base waiting for them to get back in. Perfect view of the finish line from the swimming pool

1.5 hour AAT

Clubs were scrubbed earlier but they've just finished launching the standards who have a 1.5 hour AAT. Its Matt Waters' and Charlie Jordan's first competition day in a worlds so hopefully they have a good one. Oli is a seasoned veteran so im aure he'll keep them in check. It's pretty windy today and some of the tugs made some interesting landings.

We witnessed an incredible case of hover hand in the bar last night - not mentioning names but someone was trying to go for the subtle "yawn and put your arm around her" but never actually made contact, his arm just hovered a few inches away.

Having got a working fridge yesterday, we now don't have a working fridge, so we're off on a mission to get it fixed.

Briefing

Morning all,

So last night you may have realised that it rained a little bit but once the cell had moved through it was back to normal and games were to be had in the bar.

Snorlax (Ben) is still in bed and I'm off to briefing where rumour has footage is to be shown of a certain blue flag being pinched, will see what happens.

According to google the sunrises in one hour. I made the mistake of telling the Belgian team about getting lost in the section of the club which was only men so now they're all calling me gay. Brilliant. The floods have subsided so we might actually have a dry tent tonight (hopefully). The Aussie girls are getting rowdy and ice is being thrown

It rained hardcore

Not sure if Benny updated you guys but my god I'm soggy. As we were casually drinking a beer and playing a game of whiff waff we realised that there was a lot of thunder and lightening in the sky. All of a sudden we realised the front door of the tent was wide open and so we ran

This is Ben now taking over as Ali gets the drinks in. So the mother of all storms hit the airfield and it started raining sideways.... The road to the campsite went from dust to ankle deep water n about 5 minutes. Being the bright people we are, we'd decided that we didn't need to peg the tent properly - we now have a fair few puddles in the tent.

I thunk the fact that we can buy 4 double vodkas for £8 might come in useful when it comes to trying to sleep tonight

Shinternet

We've been having technical difficulties - I've actually made 3 posts today but the blogger app is useless and they're still trying to publish.

Today was scrubbed, so its just been a case of chilling in the pool and playing volleyball. We're going out with the British team for dinner in a bit so will hopefully miss the mozzies when we're off the airfield. We'll try to update when the Internet allows us so we can put up some pictures etc. Chez Bali is getting pretty impressive now as we have main power, BBQ, log burning firepit, table, bamboo cane candles and even a fridge.

Tim Kuipers (winner in Musbach and guitar god) was serenading us last night so hopefully we'll have more of the same. He's like a jukebox - you name a song and he knows how to play it

Today's task

Just got some inside information from my mole in the Belgian camp. Clubs are on a 2 hour AAT.

Morning

Morning all,

NEWS JUST IN!! Briefing at 11am, grid before.

In other news, Ben and I believe we have been having our drinks spiked (probably from the ridiculously attractive Polish women) but purely from the fact that we can't seem to remember anything every evening. 5-6 pints and we are anyones... We end up having to be put to bed by the Saffer Team Captain, Gunt.

Mozzy bites are killing us, both of us have already doppel dropped antihistamine, as that's how we roll.

Off to have breaky now, back in a bit. 

Dinner

Dinner time at the British camp with the Aussies and the US team. The mozzies will be out soon so that should be fun.

The comp director came and found us earlier whilst we were in the pool and told us we need to organise a party and are in charge of getting parties going in the hangar each night. Our title has now been updated to "Internationally Renowned Social Secretaries"

Oh yeah, alis mosquito bites as promised earlier

We have wifi!

Just in case you hadn't seen, today was scrubbed for both classes.

Sorry for the lack of posts - we've had a pretty stressful time and have been out getting supplies (electric coolbox, BBQ etc) today.

Anyway, on to the story of our journey. We left Reading at 1am and made it to the 4am ferry just in time to drive on. To kill time we decided we'd play Time Crisis 3 (2 player arcade shooting game) - we both put our pounds in but only Ali's screen registered a credit, so I tried again and put another pound in. Still no joy. Then Ali started playing and I realised he must have pressed his button after I put my money and he now had all 3 credits. Being the nice guy he is, he allowed me to watch him play for the next 20 minutes whilst he used my credits.

We made good time through France, Belgium and Germany, and got to the Polish border at about 6pm. The car air con didn't work and we suffered massively once it got hotter. We became stuck to the leather chairs, having to peel ourselves off them at each stop, and it was so hot that opening the windows felt like someone was pointing a hairdryer at you.  The 'easy' last leg to Leszno then ended up taking us 3 hours because we had earlier decided that we wouldn't need a map of Poland. We needed a map of Poland..... Going through the back roads we learned that A) the Polish do not know how to make roads B) the Polish do not know how to signpost well and C) No-one seems to live here. We saw about 3 cars in the 3.5 hour drive.

We arrived just as it got dark and found that the tent which "will just take 15 minutes to put up" actually took a long time to put up. This was a sweaty process as it was still ridiculously hot, but due to us being BNIGs (big names in gliding) plenty of people came and helped out. We got absolutely destroyed by mozzies (disgusting pictures of Ali's back to follow) which were getting inside our T-shirts, shorts, and even Ali's boxers! Apparently the swelling from the bite hasn't made it any more impressive.

Thinking the hard part was over once we have the outside set up, we went to put in the inner tent compartments and realised that, in the dark, we had pitched ourselves on an ants nest. These ants bit, and they bit a lot. After I'd finally got my compartment sorted my legs felt like I'd walked through a field of stinging nettles.

As we had slept a total of 4 out of the last 40 hours between us, we decided the best idea at this point was to not go to sleep, but instead get absolutely smashed and try out the Leszno nightlife. It went pretty well (not that either of us remember) but my one memory of the night was the outrageously high ratio of Men:Women. On a plus note, I don't think I've seen a Polish girl who isn't absolutely stunning yet. BAli have decided that we might move here and address the issue of the lack of people in Poland (mentioned above) by beginning an intensive repopulation programme.

Anyway, we're going to go and steal the British team pool as it's too hot to do anything. We'll update later / in the morning

On a big blue watery road

BAli have boarded the HMS Chumguzzler, after a bag of haribo and many near misses with Ben driving, we are on the ferry and ready to depart. Ben being the travel Noob has just suggested a DFDS breakfast to which I returned a verbal slap in kind, idiot!

Anyway, only 1300km more to go so here's a BAli matching hoodie selfy.

Guess who's back? Back again? Bali's back! Tell a friend (no really, tell your friends)

It's official (but unofficial) - the Internationally Renowned Official Unofficial BAli Blog™ is back!

Today is the day we begin our journey to Leszno, Poland, for the Junior World Gliding Championships. Most people would have taken the easy option and flown, but that's just not how we roll. At approximately 12:30am we set off in 'Hank The Tank' (aka Ali's Range Rover) and start the drive that is going to have us already hating each other by the time we arrive.

As I type this Ali is well into his 8 hour journey down from Aberdeen to Reading, and once he's picked me up we'll be heading straight off for the 4am ferry. Despite the fact he's only driving from Aberdeen, whereas I've already driven for a whopping NINETY (90!) minutes today, I've volunteered to drive the first stint. What a kind, caring, considerate and charming person I am. It's worth noting at this point that I've never driven his car before, and have never driven in Europe before, so this may well be the first and last post.... Well, it's been fun.

Anyway, I went out to get supplies and may have gone a little overboard on the energy drink front, but I figured it was better to play it safe with 18 cans.

We'll try and update a bit whilst still in England, but other than that we won't be posting until tomorrow night when we've arrived and met up with the boys.

This is going to be painful! "That's what" - She

P.S I can't talk about supplies without adding this gif